Spring Cleaning

Probably a phrase you’ve heard before! So as the seasons shift, can you feel it too? I have found that a lot of my perception of both the world and of my physical body have been linked to the seasons.

I am in a season of change. big changes. big really exciting life altering changes. And still, the days unfold as they will. And I just keep living and breathing as the sun rises and sets.

I don’t write on a schedule and I don’t punish myself for not posting as often as I would “like”. But what works for me is just letting words find me and ultimately find their way onto the page. I don’t write following rules of proper grammar or punctuation. I capitalize some words at the start of sentences and don’t others. Does it have a different meaning? To me it’s just the way it flows through my brain and onto the metaphorical page. I don’t believe there is (to pull from Kara Duval) bunny ears right way to write. And even, there is no bunny ears right way to do life. And at the end of the day what this page is to me is just a public journal. Not my morning pages, I wouldn’t publish that stream of consciousness for the sake of the mental chatter evolving at 6 in the morning. So I guess this is ~slightly more filtered writing. But it is still very much what I am thinking, in the moment and in this season of my life.

Seasons are commonly divided by the weather and we typically hear of Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. But what about seasons of life? What about the season where you might have been in school and things were so structured? Or you were sat at a desk for 12 hours a day? Or you were nomadic for a year? All hold their memories and within them, daily routines.

I am really enmeshed in a season of using my body to physically rid of excess stuff lying around. I believe our physical bodies and emotional bodies are extremely tied and wound within one another. I have this gut feeling that there is a bit of buildup from a whole bunch of things that have not only happened recently, but over the last few years too. I was deeply unhappy for the first two years after graduating from college. And in that time I really learned to be my own best friend on a much deeper level. I started to trust myself and block out noise. But it wasn’t until I came to California that I really started to look back positively on those two years. My environment changed, I was constantly showered in sun beams and immersed in salty water, and my mindfulness community welcomed me with open arms. I learned to much. I absorbed SO much. And now it’s time to let go of some of that old stuff. Flush it out of my system, any lingering pieces that are blocking channels. And a tool I am using is a liver cleanse. Basically a pared back version of how I eat on a daily basis (aka tons and tons of bright beautiful vibrant vegetables) but without a lot of the things that tend to tack more of a digestive toll. I am not going to go into the details now, but I am very much looking forward to this 9 day commitment to myself and my physical body. To release what needs to go and begin preparing for a new season.

I am also in the process of ridding my home of things to prepare for a big move. Another one. Back to the east coast I go. And let me tell you, the season feels right. I have made such a home here in LA, and in such a short amount of time too, and I can confidently say this is the second home I never knew I needed. My first home, will forever and always be Brooklyn, NY. And right now that is where I need to be to heal a part of myself, surrounded by family and old friends.

I am lucky to say that I have people to visit and stay with on the west coast who would open their home to me as if it were my own. I truly didn’t know if I would feel like I had friends who felt like family like that. Those people know who they are, and know I would do the same for them.

So back to my conversation/thoughts about the seasons. Life isn’t meant to be lived bunny ears one way. Things change. Humans are always evolving and adapting. Life is impermanent, and that is the beauty of it. We get to experience bunny ears the same things but could take a new perspective and have an entirely different experience.

A fun fact about my writing, I rarely reread it. I just see where each paragraph takes me and what is left lingering to speak and let that flow into my next paragraph.

Thank you for following my winding narrative here. Until the next time I bring my metaphorical pen to paper.

xx

Tash